We're Doing This My Way
by ZexionLexicon
Summary: Let's take a minute to imagine a world where I, AnyfriendofMike's, was the writer of Total Drama. My characters, my challenges, my way. A scary thought, eh?


Birds circle over an island in the distance. A close up shows a man with greasy raven colored hair, a blue button up, and khaki shorts standing on a dock. The man smiles at the camera, clears his throat, and raises his arms.

"Welcome to Wawanakwa! My name is Chris Mclean!" he recites. "This may look like a normal summer camp, but it goes a little deeper than that…because this is no ordinary camp. _This_ is Total Drama Island, and one camper will walk away with _one million dollars_." Chris announces with flare. He begins to walk the length of the dock as he continues, "Allow me to explain. Thirteen campers will forge friendships, compete in crazy challenges, and spill their inner secrets and thoughts of their fellows in our outhouse confessional! Truths will be revealed at our dramatic campfire ceremonies when these teens give one member of their team the shaft! Last man standing goes home with a cool million and bragging rights! Now, let's meet the campers!"

The camera pans over as a large boat glides across the water. It comes to a smooth stop by the docks where Chris awaits. Immediately, a boy stumbles off the boat, his face green.

"Oh man, I think I'm gonna be sick…." He moans.

"You better not puke on my shoes!" the host warns him. "Meet Matt, the scrawny geek!" The boy was scrawny indeed. His Navy blue t-shirt fell past his waistline. His sleeves were meant to fall mid-bicep, but instead they fell down past his elbows. He wore grey jeans and dark blue vans. His untidy brown hair flopped over his eyes as he heaved into the lake.

A girl walks over to Matt. She wore a simple white button up shirt with a plaid skirt. Around her neck was a plaid necktie. Her auburn hair was pulled into a messy ponytail. On her feet were brown loafers. With extreme concern, she knelt down and rubbed Matt's back as he continued to throw up.

"And here's Frankie, our straight A student!" Chris comments.

"S-straight A's, huh?" Matt asks as he wipes his mouth. "That's impressive…"

Frankie shrugs. "It's nothing, really."

Chris taps his foot impatiently. "Are you two done? You're kinda in the way of our next contestant, Dani!"

Dani, who was wearing a red pair of beats headphones, walked onto the dock with her eyes closed as she listed to her music. Her eyes snapped open as she tripped over Frankie and Matt.

"Uh…S-sorry about that…guys…" she apologized as she pulled the two up.

"Little miss klutz, why don't you remove your headphones?!" Chris complained. Shrugging, Dani did as she was told and moved her headphones around her neck. The song _King for a Day_ by Peirce the Veil could be heard. She wore a black Sleeping with Sirens t-shirt and slightly baggy red jeans with black combat boots.

"Again, sorry about that," she said.

"It's alright," both Matt and Frankie said at the exact same time. In awe, they looked at each other and shared a quick laugh.

"…Moving on…" Chris said. "Let's meet Darius!"

Darius, who wore an open black jacket and grey tank top, a grey beanie, and grey jeans secured with a navy blue belt, walked over to Dani. "_King for a Day_, huh? That's my favorite song."

"Whoa, really?!" Dani exclaimed. "Me too! Have you ever heard of Sleeping with Sirens?"

"Totally. I listen to them all the time!" he grinned, pushing his dark brown hair away from his eyes. "What's your favorite song of theirs?"

"Hmm…I'd have to say…'_Your Nickel Ain't Worth My Dime.'"_

"Really? I'd say…_ 'Roger Rabbit'_"

Dani quirked an eyebrow at this. "Really?" This earned a laugh from Darius.

"Well, I only say that because it was the first Sleeping with Sirens song I'd ever heard."

"If you two are _finished_," Chris said bitterly. "I'd like to introduce our next camper, Oliver."

Quick as lightning, Oliver slid off the boat and sidled up next to Dani, kneeling down and kissing her hand. "Such beauty I've never seen in a woman…" he said suavely. "I shall cherish all the seconds we spend together on this island!" Completely uncomfortable, Dani withdrew her hand, casting a look at Darius.

"This guy is insane…" she whispered to him.

"Insane? Well, I suppose you could say I'm crazy…for you…" Oliver pronounced.

"Alright, Romeo, play's over," Chris interrupted. "Let's give a warm welcome our singer, Julie!"

Julie stepped off the boat, holding piece of paper. She had dark shoulder length hair, braces, and wore a sleeveless grey shirt. "I love the city life…I love the city air…" she sang, reading from the paper. "I love the way top buildings, look up there…The city and I make a wonderful pair…who-o-a, gimme that city life…yeesh, what a weird song…"

"Next up is Jack!" Jack was a short, weasly looking boy. He had small, beady eyes. His shirt was black and white striped. He had baggy cargo pants and black sneakers. He took one look at Dani and Darius discussing music, Oliver kissing Julie's hand while the singer looked at the boy in disgust, and Frankie and Matt talking about their favorite school subjects and sighed.

"This place is full of losers…" he muttered, standing off away from everyone. Chris grinned and slapped him on the back.

"Great, you'll fit right in! Next, we have Charlie!"

Charlie had short, spikey black hair. He wore a red hoodie and black shorts. On his feet were silver Nikes. "So this is Wawanakwa?" he asked.

"Yep!" Chris said proudly. Charlie nodded and made a noise of confirmation. "Now! Let me introduce our queen bee, Kaelee!"

Kaelee walked off the boat, texting on a purple Iphone. She wore a green and gold cheerleading outfit, as if she just walked off a football field.

"Been out of highschool for long, hon?" Chris smirked.

"Bite me."

Chris shrugged. "Suit yourself. Next, here's Freddy!"

"C'mon…why can't I get this sketch right?!" Freddy complained as he moved his pencil around on a sketchpad. He had a blue Mohawk, green and blue baseball shirt, and black skinny jeans. "Your island is great, but it's just so hard to draw!" he commented to Chris. The host just rolled his eyes and introduced the next camper, Jamie.

At her arrival, all the guys looked up. They all got dreamy smiles on their faces, and even Charlie raised an eyebrow. Jamie was beautiful. She had perfect blond hair and wore an expensive red dress. She smiled dazzlingly at the boys, who loved lovestruck.

"Uh…you know this is a camp, right?" Chris asked, gesturing at her dress. Jamie shrugged and said, "My daddy said I was going on national television, so I might as well look my best, right?"

"Whatever…" Chris replied, looking bored. "Next up, Zach."

"What's up, nerds?" Zach said, walking over to Freddy. "What's that supposed to be?"

Freddy looked up from his sketchbook. "It's the island. What, are you blind?"

"What, are you wet?" Zach retorted as he pushed him into the lake. Seconds later, Freddy resurfaced, gingerly holding up his ruined sketchbook.

"No no no!" he cried out. "All my work- ruined! What am I gonna do now?!"

"Wow, what a jerk," Dani said to Darius, who nodded.

"Definitely not cool."

Chris ignored the teens and introduced the last camper, Lucy.

"Wow…nice island…So your name is Chris…?" Lucy asked the host.

"The one and only."

"That's so weird…my name's Chris too!"

"Um…no it's not…" Jack corrected her. "Your name is Lucy, idiot."

"Whoa, nice to meet you, Lucy," the girl said as everyone face palmed.

"Now that we're all here, let's get onto the challenge!" Chris said.

Confessional

Dani: _I guess being here won't be so bad. Darius seems pretty nice…[sighs] He's so cool! We listen to the same bands, we both have birthdays in August, and he even plays Kingdom Hearts! It's like he was tailor made for me! [thinks for a minute] I wonder if he'd ever…go out with me…probably not…[chuckles] Who'd ever like a hot mess like me?_

Jack: _It's become clear to me that everyone here is an idiot. Not to worry, though, this will make winning much easier. [laughs evilly] I'm so gonna win this thing! _

Darius: _I'm feeling pretty confident. So far I've made friends with Dani. Dani seems like an amazing girl. I really like her, but…I dunno. I can't tell if she's into me or not, y'know. I mean, what about that Oliver guy? Lord knows I'm not as smooth as that! I've never really been in a relationship…Heck, I've never even held a girl's hand before. Where does the thumb go?!_

Freddy: _I can't believe Zach ruined all of my work! Where does that guy get off, anyways? [sighs] I knew I should've asked dad for a drawing tablet for my birthday! _

Frankie: _The other campers are a little intimidating…Except Darius, Matt, and Dani. They seem cool…Maybe they could be my friends…[fiddles with tie] Perhaps I shouldn't have worn my school uniform…I think it makes me look like a goody-two-shoes…Ugh, what was I thinking?! How can I win this thing?!There's just no way…_

End of Confessional

"Your first challenge will be sort yourselves into teams. You may want to do so quickly. One team will have seven campers while the other has six. Once you have your teams, you'll be in a race for the cabin. If you win the race, you'll get what I call the McLean cottage. This cottage has an eight person hot tub, two game rooms, and butlers that will serve you hand and foot. The losers will have to make their own shelters!" Chris explained with his signature smirk.

"Whoa whoa…we have to make our own shelters?! So unfair…" Jamie muttered.

"Not only that, but the losing team will also send home one of their own tonight!"

Confessional

Dani: _It's not the race I'm worried about…It's the team thing…I've never been anyone's first pick…When we played dodge ball in PE, I was always the last one picked. It's not that I'm bad at dodge ball, it's just that the captains didn't like me!_

End of confessional

"Alright!" Chris said, clapping his hands once. "Your challenge starts….now!"

At once, Zach pulled aside Jamie and Kaelee.

"You two are on my team," he said firmly. Lucy approached them.

"Can I be on your team thingy?"

"Fine, whatever…"

Dani felt her stomach knot up as she watched Oliver and Julie join Zach's group. What was she to do? Suddenly, Darius ran up to her and held out his hand.

"Wanna be a team?" he offered. She could only stare at him.

"Wait- really? You…actually _want_ me…?"

"Sure!" Darius grinned. Just then, Matt and Frankie rushed over.

"Do you two have a team yet?" Matt asked. They shook their heads and allowed them to join. Soon, their team was made up of Dani, Darius, Frankie, Matt, Freddy, Charlie, and Jack. The other team was Julie, Oliver, Zach, Jamie, Kaelee, and Lucy. Zach's team rounded up and made a beeline for the McLean cottage.

"Uh oh, we've gotta catch up!" Matt shouted, scrambling after their opposing team.

Confessional

Matt: _Er…I'm not the best runner…That is, I've got this asthma problem. Guess who forgot to pack his inhaler?_

End of confessional

Frankie noticed Matt was having troubles. She caught up with him and took his hand, pulling him after her. This made them go a bit faster. It also made them both blush but, eh, what are you gonna do? Darius saw the pair holding hands and smiled at Dani.

"Hey, you want me to carry you?" he joked. The girl smirked at him.

"Ha! You wish!"

Zach was currently in the lead. He really wanted the cottage, so seeing Charlie gaining on him angered him.

"Oh, you want a piece of me, silent boy? Bring it on!" he shouted. Charlie quickened his pace, breathing sharply. Zach slowed down a bit, letting the boy catch up. Charlie got closer…and closer…until…WHAM! Zach slammed his elbow into Charlie's nose, making him go down like an oak.

Freddy gasped as his teammate went down. He slid over to where the silent type fell, making sure he was okay.

"Freddy…you have to beat Zach…" Charlie groaned, rubbing his forehead. His teammate nodded sharply, glaring at Zach, who wasn't too far away from the cottage.

The artist and the bully were neck and neck. It was an intense race, and their teammates fell back as they watched in anticipation.

"Let's pick it up!" Darius shouted. "Freddy needs our help!"

Quickly, the team came up behind Zach. "What, you need your little buddies to help you out?! Pathetic!" Zach snickered. Growling, Freddy tackled him, yelling at his team to get the cottage. It was Matt who claimed the cottage, diving forward and landing on the porch.

"And Matt's team wins!" Chris announced as Dani, Darius, Freddy, Jack, Charlie, and Frankie cheered. "And you shall henceforth be known as the Sharks! The losing team shall be known as the Waves! Congratulations Waves, you guys will be building your own shelters while the Sharks chill out in the hot tub!"

"Great…" Oliver moaned.

"It's okay guys, I've got this," Jamie said, whipping out her phone. She punched in a few numbers and waited for a bit. "Hello, daddy? I'm gonna need a cabin, stat. Uh huh…Uh huh…okay. Thanks daddy!"

Out of nowhere, a helicopter lowered a large cabin onto the island.

"Whoa…I would say, in some respects, that cabin is better than the one the Sharks have! How ironic…Well, Waves, you've still got some voting to do!"

* * *

"The votes have been tallied," Chris says, standing at his podium. "If you receive a marshmallow, you're safe. Now…Jamie," Chris said, tossing the marshmallow at the girl. "Julie…Zach…Oliver…aaaaaaaaand…..

…..

….

….

….

….

…

…

..

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"Kaelee…"

Kaelee squealed as she received her marshmallow.

"Lucy, you're going home tonight."

Lucy stared at Chris with a blank look. "Who's Lucy?" Shaking his head, Chris grabbed her arm and gently pulled her away. Looking confused, Lucy walked the dock of shame and lowered herself onto the boat of losers.

"Twelve competitors left! Which team will win the challenge next time, and which team will be seen at the campfire? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Island!"

_**I know it's not much of a first chapter. It'll get better, I promise! Also, I'd like to thank JJ13dog for inviting me to be in his community! Welp, R&R! BTW, I changed my Tumblr username to Phil-is-my-heartless. Just thought you'd like to know.**_


End file.
